HAPPY (belated) ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ME

Almost exactly a year ago, my dream became a reality when I moved into my apartment here in Boulder, Colorado.

I can't even begin to describe how much I have changed.

This change is something I've struggled with a lot over the past year.

When I moved here I knew who I was and I was confident in who I wanted to be and where I was going.

Now today, I have no idea who I am, I have no idea who I want to be and I have no idea what I want.

All I can really say for myself now is that I really enjoy classical music, talk radio and dressing like a mom.

It's honestly really strange to think I've been out here a year already.

This past year hasn't been easy, I've been living paycheck to paycheck since I've moved out here. I've been in amazing relationships and I've been in relationships that have left me alone, confused and miserable. I have hated my life and I have loved my life. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I truly don't know who I am and that I am constantly changing and constantly growing every single second.

This past year I have learned that people will come and go and that every person comes into your life for a reason and there's always a lesson to be learned from those who cross your path. I have learned that life can change in the blink of an eye and things rarely ever stay the same. I have learned to branch out, be open and accept every single tragedy or blessing that comes my way. I have learned that your thoughts become your reality and that you have the ability to manifest anything that you so desire. I have learned that you must accept the things you cannot change, but you have all the power in the world to change whatever you can control.

Every single day I am struggling, but I have learned that the struggle is what makes you feel alive.

Life is a constant battle and I applaud everyone for making it as far as they have, and I urge you to keep going.

I moved across the United States because I was a miserable, trapped and depressed human bean. Therefore, I urge you all to make changes to your life, if you aren't happy with the way things have been going. I've made it, a whole year and I'm still going strong.

Please take your happiness into your own hands. Changing your life for the better is a lot easier than you think.

Be selfish with your happiness. This life is yours so grab the reigns god dammit. So many people live the life that they are told to live because of what people tell them, the environment they're in, or financial problems.

I MOVED OUT HERE BROKE AS FUCK. I WALKED UP TO MY MOM ONE DAY N WAS LIKE 'YA MOM I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE N MOVE TO COLORADO'. HER RESPONSE WAS, 'OH, I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT IF THATS WHAT YOU WANT, WORK YOUR ASS OFF AND WE'LL GET YOU THERE'.

and here I am.

Yes I had to work really hard to get here and I have to work hard to stay here. But every single time I take one look at the mountains, all that hard work pays off. I'm not saying that this shit is really easy guys, but god dammit you all deserve so much so please give yourself the opportunity to go get what you believe you deserve.

I don't regret my decision to get out of Connecticut and Roger Williams. I think it's one of the scariest yet most freeing decisions I've ever made.

All you have to do is make a decision. Breathe in, Breathe out, and decide.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME BE CHEESY

LOVE ALEX